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| I'm not even going to attempt to make excuses this
time. What's the point? I'm writing when I get a chance and feel some
creative juices flowing.
First an update on my life...I have asked Janet to
marry me and spend the rest of her life with me making me the luckiest
man on the face of the earth.  This actually happened about a week after my last entry on March 24th. What can I say...I'm smoooooooth  .
I did the whole "down on one knee" thing after asking her parents for
their blessing. Janet accepted and was jumping up and down for the rest
of the night afterwards. We, of course, called everyone to let them
know that it was official, seeing as how most of them already knew that
I was going to ask her that week. What an awesome feeling to know that
God has finally led me to the person of my dreams and my destiny!!!
What else is going on?
Work continues to go very well. I'm getting involved
in some extra projects involving some web design. Very cool stuff and
I'm learning some basic html code.
Janet and I just got back from a weekend in
Pittsburgh, PA. Her nephew's first communion was on Saturday, so we
drove up and spent the weekend. I really enjoyed the time spent with
her family...getting to know the brothers and sisters I hadn't met
before. I also thoroughly enjoyed getting to meet her nephew. Talk
about a kid whose brilliance shines through. I sat and watched him for
a little while and I could just see the wheels in his head turning as
he worked on a puzzle. He's also quite the Star Wars trivia master,
which makes him all the cooler in my book.
I'm also going on vacation in a couple of weeks with
Janet and her whole family down to Hilton Head, SC. I'm really looking
forward to just getting away from Charlotte and spending a (hopefully)
relaxing week just basically doing not much of anything except
relaxing. It remains to be seen if it will actually be accomplished,
but I'm sure going to try to make it happen.
Today's song entry is one of my favorites that we do
at the Charlotte Temple Salvation Army right now. The title of the song
is "Broken". I think I like it mainly because it reminds me that even
though we are totally unworthy of God's love...He gives it with a
smile. God smiling...if that doesn't make your heart dance a little...I
don't know what would.
Lord, You know me
You know my thoughts
You know my motives
You know my heart.
Lord, I know the best of me
Is but filthy rags compared to Thee
That's why I want to be
I want to be broken.
I want to be spilled out
I want to be broken
And poured out at Your feet.
I want to be a sacrifice
To give my life
As a humble offering
May my worship be
A fragrance unto Thee
I want to be broken.
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing
greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost
all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be
found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the
law, but that which is faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes
from God and is by faith ... Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to
have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win
the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
~ Philippians
3:8-9,13-14 (NIV)
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| Well...hello again after another long absence. What can I say? Life is
busy. Actually tonight I'm posting an email that my girlfriend Janet
wrote about the past weekend's events down in Atlanta, GA. I think it
pretty much speaks for itself...
Over this past weekend, I was
fascinated with the Atlanta fugitive story. Like many other
people, I was simply amazed at the fact that a potential felon was able to
rampage through a courthouse and then escape into the city. But my interest in
the story only intensified when Brian Nichols was captured. I simply couldn’t
hear enough or read enough about Ashley Smith, Brian Nichol’s hostage.
Why has Ashley Smith’s story been
affecting me so much? Because every time I hear her story, I think to
myself...she was “mistaken!” (See lyrical reference below). On Friday
night when I heard the story of what Brian Nichols had done, I thought he
deserved to die. I was definitely sitting in judgment of his actions. I didn’t
see any good in Brian or the situation. I certainly couldn’t see God in the
picture at all.
Ashley Smith could imagine that God
might have spared Brian’s life in order to glorify God in prison. She could
also see that God could use her life to glorify Him. And Brian Nichols heard,
saw and felt God through Ashley Smith.
She can’t even begin to know how the whole story could make an impact.
How often do stories about honest, simple faith in Christ hit the national
news? Ashley’s story has been repeated over and over. The media seems to be in
disbelief and it seems that people are so “hungry” that a story like this
captivates our attention. And who can blame us? It is utterly amazing
that the widow of a homicide victim would be held hostage by a murderer, that
she would speak the word of God to him and then convince him to surrender. That
is God at work! Only God can put those people together and use a seemingly
impossible situation for His good. Hopefully this story will cause unbelievers
to stop and listen!
After the events of this weekend,
after years of uncertainty, I finally have a solid opinion on the death
penalty. Absolutely no! I don’t like Brian’s actions and of course I know
innocent people died by his hands. But Brian is a child of Christ. And if
Brian stands up and takes responsibility for his actions and has a true change
in his heart, who are we to decide the value of his life? Who are we to judge a
man’s life by a few of his actions when God will judge us all in the end? Who
are we to determine what is truly in another’s heart? There will never be a day
when a person in prison can’t have a change of heart for we do not ever know how
God is moving in their life. It is only due to our human limitations that we
often believe that people can’t change. But God knows that He can create change
on any day, at any time, in any place…even prison, in anyone…even a murderer.
It is so easy to look back in my
life when things were so painful and now see that God was using those events to
bring me closer to Him. It is easy because the events, although painful for me,
were not as ugly or horrible as murder. This past weekend, I was not successful
in my Christian walk…I
was definitely “mistaken” but not in a good way… because I could not see past
the ugliness to realize that God was there. This past weekend, I could not imagine that
God would use a murderer to bring
people to Him.
Similar to many stories that came
after September 11th which served as a reminder to us of God’s mercy,
God has now used this murderer and hostage as another reminder of His limitless
grace. I was reminded that God can use any person in any circumstance (no
matter how terrible) for His glory. How incredibly humbling for me. How
incredibly awesome is God!?
Mistaken -
Written by Warren
Barfield
I shouldn’t have to tell you who I
am
Cause who I am should be speaking for itself
Cause if I am who I want
to be
Then who you see won’t even be me
Oh the more and more I
disappear
The more and more He becomes clear
‘ Til everyone I talk to hears His
voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
‘ Til everyone I
meet
Sees Jesus in me
This is all I wanna be
I wanna be mistaken
For Jesus
Oh I wanna be mistaken
Do they only see who we are
But
who we are should be pointing them to Christ
Cause we are who He chose to use
To spread the
news
Of the way the truth and the life
Oh I want all I am to
die
So all He is can come alive
‘ Til everyone I talk to hears His
voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
‘ Til everyone I
meet
Sees Jesus in me
This is all I wanna be
I wanna be mistaken
For Jesus
Oh I wanna be
Oh I need to be mistaken
For you
Oh I
wanna be mistaken
May He touch
with my hands
See through my eyes
May He speak through my lips
Live
through my life
I want Him to
I want Him to
live
© 2003 Warren Barfield Music
/Creative Trust Music (ASCAP) (admin. by The Loving Company)
All Rights
Reserved. Used by permission.
What can I say? I love her!
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| ZZZZzzzz...huh? wha? Oh...hi ?!?
How long have I been asleep? October
26...Nov...Dec...Jan...hehe...oops. Hmmmmm. I know you've all been
breathlessly awaiting my next blog entry...and what did I do? I stopped
writing. I stopped filling you in on my daily life and I know that
you've been just dying to find out what's been going on since
then....or maybe not. I dunno. I guess the mood to write fairly often
passed as quickly as it started several months before. I've truly been
meaning to update this for some time and just simply haven't done it.
I've been living life and enjoying it immensely. The deal is that God
has led the love of my life and I together. How do I know she is the
love of my life? I just do. It is that simple and it is that wonderful.
What started as me being incredibly shy and taking five weeks just to
ask her out has turned in to the most wonderful and incredible
relationship of my life...the last romantic relationship of my life.
This is the woman God has intended for me to spend the rest of my life
with and I simply cannot wait to make that official in about a year
from now.
What else has been going on? Mainly work and
church really. Work is going very well and I hope to be moving up
within the company soon and with relative speed.
Church has been...well...church. As in years
past, I often find myself so bogged down in being a "christian", that I
forget to simply be a "Christian". I think what I mean by this
is...image rather than works/faith. I've had this conflict in my life
before and I find it difficult to climb out of sometimes. I'll try to
elaborate a little more if you'll indulge me. I go to church when I'm
supposed to...I play/direct in the brass band...I play in the worship
team...I sing with the singing group...and I enjoy doing all those
things, but I've found that those things have become the center of my
worship...the focal point if you will. As of the beginning of 2005, I'm
working extra hard to get out of that rut, and trying to refocus on God
and what He has to say to me. How do I do that? Simply by reading the
book He wrote. I'm literally reading the Bible in 2005 using a schedule
I found online. I don't tell you I'm reading the Bible cover-to-cover
to prop myself up, but instead so that of you who actually read this
will hold me accountable to this "New Year's Resolution". I am already
learning more out of reading than I have in a long time and I truly
want to keep doing this. I haven't felt a thirst for God's Word like
this in a long time and I absolutely love it.
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is...it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say.
Word of God speak,
Won't You pour down like rain,
Washing my eyes to see Your majesty
To be still and know,
That You're in this place,
Please let me stay and rest in Your holiness,
Word of God speak.
I'm finding myself in the midst of You,
Beyond the music, beyond the noise,
All that I need is to be with You,
And in the quiet, to hear Your voice.
Word of God speak,
Won't You pour down like rain,
Washing my eyes to see Your majesty
To be still and know,
That You're in this place,
Please let me stay and rest in Your holiness,
Word of God speak.
One of the passages I read today in my daily reading is about
Justification apart from the law (Old Testament). The writer is talking
about Abraham, but I can only hope that someday, this can be
said/written about my life:
"Yet he did not waver through unbelief
regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and
gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do
what he had promised. This is why 'it was credited to him as
righteousness.' The words 'it was credited to him' were written not for
him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness - for
us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was
delivered over to DEATH for OUR sins and was RAISED TO LIFE for OUR
justification."
~ Romans 4:20-25. [emphasis added is mine]
I hope to write more often than I have been...but I make no promises.
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| I had every intention of writing this blog entry on Sunday night or last night but simply didn't because I preferred to talk on the phone with someone  .
The mystery woman and I have now been out on at least 5 or 6 dates, including each night this past weekend. And all I can truly say is that it gets better and better. I know it sounds incredibly mushy...but the truth is that I absolutely love to be around her. Its hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, I was still hesitant to ask her out. She constantly picks on me about the fact that it took me so long to ask her out when she was being blatently obvious that she was interested in me. I was somewhat obvlivious to it, but not completely. Part of it was that I was being cautious...I guess because I wanted to be absolutely certain that she was interested before I asked her out. I don't doubt anymore and its incredibly refreshing and liberating to know that she does like me for who I am. Well...no one ever called me forward when it comes to relationships  .
On a totally different note...next tuesday is election day here in the US...well the official election day anyway. Lots of early voting going on I know. I urge each and every American citizen to go out and vote in this election. I have voted in every election since I became eligible to vote at age 18. I think this year's Presidential election is, by far, the most important of my lifetime and maybe the most important of any Presidential election in the last 50 years. This is the first post-9/11 Presidential election. Inform yourselves of the issues...figure out what issues are the most important to you and then vote for the candidate that most represents what you believe. For me...that candidate is definitely President Bush for four more years. Mainly because I believe that the threat of terrorism is the most important issue right now and that it far outweighs any other issue out there. A distant 2nd to me is the economy. Whichever of those issues I would choose to put at the top of my list...it would still be President Bush that I choose on Nov. 2nd. I can't and won't tell you how to vote. But I will say this...if you're only reason for voting for John Kerry is because you just cannot stand what President Bush has done for the last four years...then you're voting for the wrong reason. Don't listen to what the press or the democrats or the republicans say about the other candidate. Do some research into both sides and decide on your own. Oh...and if you don't bother to bone up on the issues...please don't even bother to vote. Your uninformed vote affects me, my children and yours. Stay home and let those of us who have dug deep in to both candidates make the choices. Thanks.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
~ Philippians 2:3-4(NIV)
I picked this scripture because my preacher spoke on it this past Sunday and it really spoke to me. The author, Paul here, is basically saying if we ALL consider others' feelings above ourselves, then we won't hurt each other. This does not mean that we should allow people to walk all over us. It is basically another way of writing what Jesus himself said when he said, "Love your neighbor just as Christ loved you." That is so hard for us because we innately want what is best for us. In biological terms, all species have what is known as the "fight or flight" reflex. Its what makes our adrenalin pump in a high-stress situation. Self-preservation is what drives each of us. Paul is not saying that's a bad thing at all. He is simply saying that I should think of you as better than me. In return, you should think the same of me. If we each do that, we will always get along.
Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness
Open my eyes, let me see
Beauty that makes this heart adore You,
Hope of a life spent with You.
Here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God.
You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
King of all days, so highly exalted,
Glorious in Heaven above.
Humbly you came to the Earth You created,
All for love's sake became poor.
Here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God.
You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
I'll never know how much it cost,
To see my sin upon that cross.
Lord remind me every day of your sacrifice made purely out of love for me! | | |
| So...I had my first "official" date with the mystery woman from work on Thursday night. I have to say it was absolutely one of the best dates I've been on in a long time. I gave her a single long-stemmed pink rose and left it on the car seat so that she would see it when I opened the passenger door for her. We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then just sat and talked and listened to music for the rest of the evening. Its amazing to me how completely comfortable I am around her, even after only going out a few times. The great thing is that she has said pretty much the same thing about being around me. All evening we talked about our families, our personal histories, etc. and the night just seemed to go by way too quickly. We said our goodnights and then I came home a little after midnight. I called her when I got home afterwards and we talked for a little while longer. I have to say it was a great relief (for lack of a better word) to know that she enjoyed herself as much as I did. All in all, a great beginning to our "relationship". A 2nd date is definitely on the horizon whenever she returns from out of town with her family.
Kind of a short entry tonight...mainly because I have a bit of a headache that's hanging on for dear life at the moment, despite two alleve. I also need to get to work on the powerpoint for church tomorrow morning so I'll close with these thoughts...
"In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever."
~Daniel 2:44 (NIV)
Daniel here was interpreting a dream that King Nebuchadnezzar had, of which no one else could determine the meaning. The dream was about Christ's imminent return and the establishment of his millenial reign here on the earth during the end times. The previous parts of the dream had outlined all the other kingdoms that would be established until that day, of which Christ would come and crush with His own. Christ will return someday, and He will rule over all the earth. And when that day comes, none will be able to stand against Him. Even then, come quickly Lord Jesus.
I can only imagine, what it will be like,
When I walk, by Your side.
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see
When your face is before me.
I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, I can only imagine.
I can only imagine, when that day comes,
And I find myself standing in the sun,
I can only imagine, when all I would do,
Is forever, forever worship You.
I can only imagine, I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, I can only imagine.
I can only imagine... | | |
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